Baan Bophut's no children policy explained...

As we state clearly in our brochure and website "...we're unable accommodate small children, and to ensure the comfort of other guests, must discourage those with boisterous or noisy youngsters." Why, we've been asked by disappointed or argumentative parents, on dozens of occasions? Because, simply stated, our target market is for independent travelers who seek to escape and relax. And in our own pursuit of these ideals we have learned that children on holiday, with the availability of a swimming pool and caffinated, sugary drinks do not tend to make reliable contributors to our promise of providing a relaxing environment for our guests.

We've learned our lessons and even tightened up the the no-kids policy since being caught out number of times by the assurances of parents and misled by the appearance of shy, bookish pre-puberts that morphed into screeching little horrors as soon as they put a cossie on.

Baan Bophut is anyway, not a child friendly environment: the lower stairs don't have a bannister and the pool has no shallow end - it's a flattened 'V' shape, with steps either end. A particular hazard for running and tripping children are the coarse exposed aggregate floors in the corridors and reception which can inflict a nasty scrape to young knees. All normal kids have scabby knees. We don't object to children hurting themselves on the sand washed floors, its the resultant screams we and our guests find most disturbing.

Lucy's goddaughter Maisie and her

failed attempt to avoid the camera

Inevitably, there are a few exceptions, as when expat friends from the village socialise at BB with their children, but we don't hesitate to warn these kids if they become too loud and neither do their parents, who understand and respect the hotel's policy. Staff have occasionally brought their children to work when their circumstaces have made it necessary, but Thai children, at least the ones we know, seem content to occupy themselves quietly and without a hyperactive impulse to hurtle around the place.

I suppose the only other exception is when a wedding party takes over the entire hotel and we don't have to concern ourselves as much with guests' need for tranquility. Wedding parties are invariably noisy; only the drunks seem able to relax and everyone except our staff forgets there are children present.